Random Thoughts

Was having a random thought like this out of a sudden. I’m sitting in my room, almost doing nothing except to listening to songs and watching anime. And I realized, I am actually alone. And the thought hit me that, we are always alone even though we have friends or parents or whatever. Like me, living like this waiting for my frens to call me thinking that they might not call me cause, they are still sleeping at 9.48pm. They didn’t sleep at all last night. Crazy fellas.


Anyway, I thought of the importance of being independent. Of really being independent when everything u know or have is gone from your life, you still need to live. Not for anyone else, not for your true love, not for your parents but for yourself. This is what you owe to yourself of suffering the hardships of studies, work, love and so on. You have to reward yourself by staying alive, even though you have to be alone, you will slowly understand how beautiful life is. Even though you might think that life sucks, assignment sucks and whatever, life is actually beautiful. Your heart is beating and you are actually breathing air in. Staying alive is actually a reward for your soul or your spirit. So cherish it, cherish life, don’t do stupid things like jumping off a building and other things which is classified as committing suicide. Am thinking about such things after what I heard about Nick who committed suicide. Din’t really know him, although I was introduced to him through Patrick. And after what Allen was telling me the other day about how hard its gonna be for him this semester with his deferred papers and having to take summer, he mentioned that if he didn’t get through, he will jump. I frowned. I thought for a while and realized that the most that he will have to extend if he didn’t do well in his deferred papers, he will have to extend just another semester. That isn’t too bad, look at me, I have to extend 1 more semester also. My total extensions are 1 year and 1 semester. And I have never ever thought of even committing suicide. He complained he is financially tight. Hmmm… anyone who has ever seen him or knows him will prolly know how much modifications he made to his car and he complained that he is financially tight. Ironic? Lol…. Patrick will know what I mean. I just wanna tell Allen to not think like that, have a positive mindset, study hard or mebbe study hard with me and lets get through our studies at the same time. The way he carries himself makes it hard for people to like him and I kinda understand. Im not saying that I don’t like him or what not, but he is my friend and i’m always there for my friends. I just hope he will realize his own bad attitude and change. But I know its kinda impossible. I just hope and wish the best for him like how I wish to all my friends. And, I mean everyone… will put a list here….

1. Vee Liam
2. Wai Yeong
3. Chee How
4. Patrick
5. Jennifer
6. Evelyn (even though u don’t treat me as one, I do)
7. Sofian
8. Swee Sin
9. Stephen Pang
10. Adeline Shuang [just got to know you, but still :)]
11. Aaron Chan
12. Allen
13. Tony
14. Anna
15. Mei How
16. Gwen
17. Sham
18. An Liang
19. Shu-Fenn
20. Kok Wee
21. Elaine
That’s all I can think of…. Wish these people well in whatever they do. The numbering doesn’t mean anything. =)